There are two schools of thought when it comes to getting what you want, the first is that ‘good things come to those who wait’, the second is ‘if you want something you have to go out and get it’. So which is it? I’ve tried waiting, but seeing as how I can be rather impatient this particular course of action is not suited to my taste. ‘Going out and getting it’ however, doesn’t appear to be working either (much to my chagrin).
At the moment the things I’ve been hoping would start to fall into place are finally coming together. I’ve worked hard to get here, made a number of choices that were (and I think continue to be) seen as mistakes by those around me. However, it’s paid off. In less than a week I might have that one thing that’s kept me at the edge of my seat for for the past year and a half, a real job, but as irony would have it I don’t know that I want this particular one. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for this sudden stroke of luck, it’s as much a wonderful opportunity as any, it’s just that I was hoping for something different. Or, should I rephrase, there was another opportunity (something I’m hoping – perhaps aimlessly – has not yet flown) that grabbed me like nothing has in a very long time, or maybe even ever; a dream come true. The remaining possibility of which has a hold on me that I can’t move past, to think that I might not get my dream, at least not yet, is heartbreaking. I’m sure when all the dust settles everything will be ‘ok’, but when all is said and done, I’d much prefer it to be AWESOME!
